My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
