I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
