I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
