I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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