school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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