if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
