Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
