Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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