So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
