I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
