? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
