when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
How's work?
Spinning.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
