im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
