yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I pour the whiskey from now on
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
