she woke up with a sticky ear
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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