You made me cry and you don't even care
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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