Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
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