Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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