Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
