I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
