if only i could text you this smell
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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