how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You are the jesus of drinking
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
