Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it hurts more in the daytime
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
