dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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