Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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