We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
