at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
