In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Randomize