then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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