I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
