i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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