they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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