they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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