Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize