That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
