my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
