I look better un-naked...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
