and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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