The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
