Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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