my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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