If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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