I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
