sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
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Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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