if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
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he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
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Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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