Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
