Screwed.edu
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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