I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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