i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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