Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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