You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
