i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
