Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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