Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
