I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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