you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize