somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize