I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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