im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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