the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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