Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
