Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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