I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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