Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize